Pamela Friedman, Certified Divorce Planner Extraordinaire

Bride and groom figurines standing on two separated slices of wedding cake

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According to Pamela Friedman’s bio she has over 20 years of financial planning and investment experience and is currently a partner with Silicon Hills Wealth Management, LLC and has an amazing experience in marital financial planning – which also includes planning for the risk of divorce and educating clients who may be unfamiliar with financial issues and investing during and after divorce.

First, let me be perfectly honest… after several divorces, one pre-nup, and one post-nup, I wish I had met Pamela Friedman years ago. If a couple has had serious discussions about getting married, it is important to consider the process of pre and post nuptial agreements; and while the discussion can be extremely difficult, by not talking about the possibilities puts you two in a very difficult situation.

Pamela is very serious and clear about how couples should look at the business of marriage and all that happens when you are led by emotions – which if the unspeakable should happen you don’t want to be emotionally debilitated because you didn’t devise a backup plan. I know, marriage is supposed to be forever, but in some cases it isn’t.

According to Pamela, “if you are considering the sheer possibility of getting married I would advise having a discussion about what can be the realities of life and death. I know, when you are about to plan a wedding these are the last things brides want to think about, which is the point. A certified divorce planner assists couples who are getting married to help in developing a strategy in case of divorce.”

My conversation with Pamela was quite fascinating to say the least, but it certainly made sense. Every couple needs to understand the laws of the state in which they live – everything from alimony, child support, and property disbursement. In other words, have an “exit strategy,” ask a lot of personal questions and develop a pre-nuptial – which is an assessment of where you both are financially.

From understanding what financial position you inherited from your parents or their parents to each person’s current financial position, particularly debt with full disclosure. Another financial issue: children from a previous marriage or relationship – we forget about the child support and how they will be treated in a will. Also, who is going to manage the household budget and money management? And, what about retirement planning to how will the decisions be made on major expenses or even more importantly, investments?

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Marital agreement, this was an interesting nuance in case of blended families; which I wasn’t  aware existed but is quite interesting – a marital agreement which can separate assets, as well as put said assets such as a house in a trust in case of a divorce versus should one of you dies, particularly if there are children involved.

Pamela is not your worst nightmare, seemingly trying to divide before the union, rather a clear voice of reason. Too often we are so giddy in love that we don’t think about  the what if’s of life. … those nasty words that can change your life on a dime – that is if you aren’t a planner. There is a lot to getting married that has nothing to do with the ceremony and the two of you must treat the rest as business. Once you have contacted someone who has the expertise to advise you properly you will both rest easier…and then Pamela will pronounce you “Financially Fit.”

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