To outline the “Task of a groomsman” is about as indispensable as outlining the “How to’s on walking.” No one is that clueless; you should know, or have a basic understanding on what a groomsman does or should do. For every apparent responsibility there are a few understated tasks that often get ignored. Let’s get started, shall we?
Support: The groom’s close buddies and family support him throughout the wedding planning process. Take your part as groomsman passionately (but please don’t be overbearing or bossy)—after all, you’re helping one of your best friends through what can be a very stressful, and nerve-racking day (oh, and he’s probably hung over as well). Also, if you act like the cool, unflappable, levelheaded, and responsible bro that you are, you’ll get those single bridesmaids to notice you, and we all know what that means, right? Yes…Bingo, you will get some “take-home fun” as a reward. Read on for your duties.
Traffic control: Church/reception hall or the place chosen for the event—the bride’s family & friends are on the left side of the place where the groom will say his nuptials. The groom’s family & friends are to the right. (Are you of Jewish faith? then it will be the other way around with seating.)
Bachelor party: It’s a given that all of the groomsmen will attend and conceivably plan the last shindig the groom will have as a single man. Generally, it’s the best man’s responsibility to plan the bachelor party. And it still is. In the old days, however, that meant just one night of booze, cigars and lap dances. Planning was simply asking, “Should we head over to Scores, Hustler Club or the Pussycat Lounge?” However in current times, there are often weekend getaways that require considerably more legwork—deciding on and picking a hotel, how many rental cars, golf courses, what lounge or club will you go to, making the restaurant reservations—it can be, no let me rephrase that, “it will be a pain in the ass.” So you, as a good groomsman should assist or maybe, if everyone else is ok with it, take charge of that on your own; you will also volunteer time, and whatever else the groom and/or the bride need help with.
The right time to speak: It’s sometimes difficult to know when, exactly, will it be appropriate for you to maybe give a toast or a speech. Many times the bride and groom don’t define the speeches or the best man gives a non rousing speech, leading to some awkward moments of silence. So, if this does occur, maybe it would win you some great points with the single ladies, if you had one prepared, just in case.
Spend some money: As a groomsman, you’re obligated to attend every meaningful event (bachelor party, the rehearsal dinner, and the engagement party), which can translate into multiple plane trips or long drives. Just think of this as one of those unavoidable “expenses” that come with being a good bro to your friends.
The key to style and fashion—regardless of whether the outfit costs ten bucks or a few hundred—is an ill-fitting Brooks Brothers (or any other designer you prefer). It will look like crap and cheap, unless you pay attention to its appearance and maybe have it tailored, if it’s required; make sure it is pressed and that your pants are crisp, lined and properly cuffed in length. Please don’t skimp and think of buying a blazer/suit from the discount rack at a vintage clothing store. Think seriously about buying, not renting. It’ll pay for itself in a few events.
Cancel any events or to do’s on the wedding day—be the groom’s wingman/safety net: On the day of the wedding, the groom really doesn’t have a thing to do except get uptight, fidgety, and get unsettled. Take his mind off all that by playing some ball, or shooting the enemy in Call Of Duty. Maybe even consider the simple act of window shopping or how about treating him to a good meal, his last meal as a single guy. Just be there for him. It would be wise not to overdo it on drinking. No one wants to be “that guy” who allowed the groom to get bombed at a wedding. Yes, it might be hysterical footage, but, in reality, you will be labeled a douche.
Lastly: For this one and only day in your boring life, you will conduct yourself as that one guy who shows everyone how much fun your having. The unwritten rule is as a groomsman, you will be on that dance floor all night, you will crack jokes, and laugh more. Please don’t overdo it. The key is moderation. Don’t come off as trying too hard. You will drink more than anyone else at the wedding. (But please don’t be “that guy” who was acting like an idiot because you couldn’t hold your liquor.) When you’re already slightly drunk but still in control of your faculties, stop. Drink water and eat something. You don’t want to also go home alone. Remember…there are plenty of single ladies present and you do want to end the night on a high note. You will instill the party with charm, always conduct yourself as a gentleman, and flirt with as many single ladies there, until you zone in on “the one” you want to end the night and begin the morning with.
About the Author: Marcello Ortiz Jr., New York based Contributing Writer for WBM who has graced our printed page with his words of wisdom as a father, a husband, and currently a grandfather. Ortiz resides in the fabulous city of New York with his family and continues to enjoy life, travel and the pursuit of happiness.