A match made in heaven doesn’t always equate to a seamless blend of personal style and decor. In fact, it can often present a greater challenge than dealing with in-laws, particularly when one partner favors a certain style while the other leans towards something completely different. Over my years as a New York City interior designer, I’ve frequently encountered newlywed clients facing this common dilemma. Typically, one partner possesses a stronger design sensibility, yet both harbor firm preferences regarding the appearance of their home, which can sometimes diverge.
My advice for navigating this transition from a single person’s abode to a family residence begins with a fundamental principle: whenever possible, newlyweds should aim to move into a home they’ve mutually selected. This approach, rather than one partner moving into the existing residence of the other, sets a solid foundation for shared decision-making. Choosing a home together means embarking on the journey of selecting and acquiring items collectively, starting with the residence itself. While it’s increasingly common for couples to cohabit before marriage, this often results in a hodgepodge of individual belongings brought together by circumstance.
Central to harmonizing disparate tastes is color coordination, which involves blending the distinct pieces of each partner into a cohesive whole. I advise considering items from both sources and opting for a fresh, mutually agreed-upon wall color that complements both palettes. This approach fosters a sense of unity and integration among everyone’s belongings.
Another crucial step is streamlining possessions. I encourage clients to curate their collections by identifying the top 10 items they wish to keep and the top 10 items belonging to their partner that they can part with. While merging households inevitably involves reconciling duplicates such as appliances, the focus here is on reconciling personal belongings accumulated throughout life’s journey, like artwork and other cherished possessions.
After compiling these lists, each partner is granted the opportunity to veto two items from their spouse’s “must-haves” list. The list of items deemed expendable can serve as bargaining chips, facilitating discussions on which items to retain or discard.
Should conflicts persist, turning to an interior designer can provide invaluable assistance. After all, guiding clients through such challenges is precisely why we’re hired in the first place, isn’t it?
