“Relationships are a lot like businesses; you have to keep putting in the effort and work in order for it to be successful.” My loving partner recently said this to me and I wholeheartedly agreed with him. Whether you’re an entrepreneur like myself or not, it can be eye-opening to see where this all ties in to better your personal self in order to greater the relationship whole.
As the philosophical phrase goes, “the whole is greater than the part.” Now, I’m not the best runner on this side of the West Coast, but I do know if only one leg is running the race with me, there’s no way I’m winning the marathon. When each individual is putting in the effort towards one’s self, as a collective the couple can maintain muscular balance and prevent fatigue from one or both sides, preventing injury. It’s stronger, more balanced, healthy and cohesive at its peak performance — or, at least, be an honest work in progress.
Like a muscle, like a business, it’s a lifestyle and long-term endeavor that you need to continuously upkeep in order to maintain the status quo. Or else, something shifts. This shift can elevate, if the couple is growing together at a similar pace, or at least are on the same personal growth trajectory and sharing and communicating along the way. This shift can work in the reverse, and if the trajectory is off, one is doing the self work and the other is comfortable as is or has yet to embark on their own deep dive, that can become some murky waters fairly quickly as the original bond between the two deteriorates.
So, if you and your SO are on similar paths and already connecting, this article probably wasn’t of you. However, I’m a believer that we’re all a work in progress and learning along this journey, no many how many years we are into the love match. Here are some tips to help you and your partner practice individual self care in addition to a collective growth trajectory:
- Stay committed to your fitness goals, and plan a day or two at least to do an activity together.
- Commit to individual inner self work, reflection, coaching or therapy. Bonus: do this together in addition to
- Keep your individual activities, friends, endeavors and goals that you value to strengthen your life experiences outside of the relationship to add to the discussions and love collectively.
- Commit to communicating weekly or monthly with your partner on your personal short- and long-term goals in regards to what resonates (career, family, relationship, lifestyle, etc.).
- Date weekly, plan fun activities together, commit to making time to what connected you in the first place.
- Appreciate what you bring to the relationship table, in addition to what your partner offers; gratitude, to be seen, heard and understood can go a long way with communication between a couple, and learn the tools to do this the best you can learn through resources, books, training, and coaching to name a few.