The “S” in Single

A tale of missed bows, cupid must be having an off night. I have spent the last seven years learning, growing, earning, traveling, losing, and crying all at the same time. Emotionally I was so beaten that my sense of self worth began to diminish. It’s all well and good when we want to be independent to thrive and to flourish.  But the years do wear thin on us when pursuing our dreams have lost its dynamism. The books and self care guides do not speak on the nights that you desire touch, companionship, or a partner. No fluff, it’s all real talk. This piece is not meant to dampen your mood, but to exhilarate your thinking. 

Let’s change the perspective it was seven long long years of learning and growing. A first hand look at what others have not been able to easily see within themselves.  There perpetual cycle of the same old destructive behaviors and tendencies, undoubtedly  myself included. However a gift of indescribable reflection and insight from God cleared the fog and opened a way. In my mind I began to see it!. The “S” in single stands for Stay. Variables are attached at the end like stay focused, stay planted, stay aligned but they all mean the same thing — stop. I did, and I found myself wanting more than just financial freedom. I desired companionship, a friend, and other pleasurable gifts. Once I got real with my true desires then I was ready to take the bandaid off and do the work. I did the work and realized singleness is exhilarating and fun, not to mention full of freedom. Nevertheless I am moving into a space of living my life fully intentional. 

Amat Victoria Curam loosely translated it means victory loves preparation. 

Step 1, do the prep work. This varies based on individual My actionables were self reflection, therapy, action, celibacy (it works well). Again these are my personal tools used.

Step 2, gather leads scout prospects. Get your feelers in the air, gauge the way the wind blows and get ready accordingly.

Step 3, we must actually date someone for real. Have eyes that are intentional and send those pheromones dancing through the air. Knowing yourself is crucial here because all kind of strays will show up thinking they heard the signal, dismiss without bias. Test yourself and all of the acquired knowledge. Experience is the best teacher.

Step 4, wait patiently. This one is the hardest step but this is where seeds bud and fruits do bloom. Just wait patiently that special person is there waiting for you. 

In this community we share so we can grow healthier in our love languages to ourselves then the world. Share with us some of your single hood, singleness tips and tricks for living magnanimously. Stay tuned new articles published each week.

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