Listening Shapes Us

We all know that listening and hearing are two different actions. While hearing is non-active listening is quite the opposite. We listen to gain information or awareness fed through our connections. To be present in a moment lets the other know they matter. In this new world where there are more non verbal means to communicate, misinterpretation often occurs. Not to mention the infamous, Men are from Mars women from Venus was coined because of the very different ways men and women communicate. keeping that little saying at the forefront of our minds hopefully will remind us to take the time and listen.

There is a wealth of knowledge that we access with every connection. Nella Quashe’, that’s my 94 year young grandmother often says you have two ears and one mouth to listen more and speak less. That wisdom was impressed upon me from childhood and quite frankly has done a wealth of good for me as an adult. As we take time to listen without trying to find our moment to respond we become sensitive to what the persons body language and words are wanting to convey. Sometimes an ear to vent or share is all the doctor ordered. Listening is simply another way to say you matter. Wanting someone to listen to you shouldn’t always be viewed as negative. We all require connection in some way that is what relationship is all about.

How well do you relate to those around you? How well are you relating to your spouse? Perhaps try this exercise, ask your partner to gauge your listening skills. I trust they will be honest with you. The real question is could you handle the response? The main point is to make sure that we are showing up in our relationships on all fronts, not just the things we see but the substance the parts that are not easily visible. Rather than spend time pondering how your spouse views you, simply ask. Healthy communication strengthens the foundation for a balanced marriage. Marriage can take many shapes let’s aim high to mold the love we desire to receive by the love we share with others.

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